Doctor Who: Podshock
Aftershock 20080717

A special announcement concerning the Doctor Who: Podshock live on stage show at JumpCon Boston originally planned for this weekend (18-20 July 2008) and other news.

Hosted by Ken Deep and Louis Trapani

Doctor Who: Podshock - Episode 111
Running Time: 1:22:44

We blow off the dust of the feedback you have been emailing us in this special feedback episode featuring your letters and voice mails - Hosted by James Naughton, Louis Trapani and Ken Deep.

Brought to you by the Gallifreyan Embassy and presented by Outpost Gallifrey.

Do you need the MP3 file format? Get our MP3 version of this episode using our MP3 dedicated feed at http://www.gallifreyanembassy.org/podshock/podshockmp3.xml.

Doctor Who: Podshock - Episode 110
Running Time: 1:18:37

The 10th Doctor and his era - We review David Tennant's Doctor and his era in this live episode. Hosted by Louis Trapani, Ken Deep, and Dave AC. Recorded on 10 February 2008.

Brought to you by the Gallifreyan Embassy and presented by Outpost Gallifrey.

Note: In order to get this episode out faster in post-production, no Enhanced Podcast version is being produced. It is only being released as a plain MP3 file.

Doctor Who: Podshock
AFTERSHOCK 20080526

Programming note about Doctor Who: Podshock 110 and other immediate future episodes.

Hosted by Louis Trapani.

Doctor Who: Podshock
AFTERSHOCK 20080520

Breaking news of the announcement of Steven Moffat taking role of Executive Producer and Lead Writer for Doctor Who in 2010.

Hosted by Louis Trapani and Ken Deep.

Doctor Who: Podshock - Episode 109
Running Time: 1:20:55
30 April 2008

An in-depth interview with John Levene (Sgt. Benton) - Hosted by Louis Trapani and Ken Deep. Interview recorded on 30 March 2008.

Brought to you by the Gallifreyan Embassy and presented by Outpost Gallifrey.

Do you need the MP3 file format? Get our MP3 version of this episode using our MP3 dedicated feed at http://www.gallifreyanembassy.org/podshock/podshockmp3.xml.

Doctor Who: Podshock - Episode 108
Running Time: 1:30:23

The 9th Doctor and his era - We review Christopher Eccleston's Doctor and his era in this live episode. Hosted by Louis Trapani, Ken Deep, and Dave AC. Recorded on 27 January 2008.

Brought to you by the Gallifreyan Embassy and presented by Outpost Gallifrey.

Do you need the MP3 file format? Get our MP3 version of this episode using our MP3 dedicated feed at http://www.gallifreyanembassy.org/podshock/podshockmp3.xml.

Doctor Who: Podshock - Episode 107
Running Time: 0:49:54

Daphne Ashbrook Interview - We interview Daphne Ashbrook (Grace Halloway from the 1996 video movie). Hosted by Louis Trapani, Ken Deep, and James Naughton. Recorded on 9 March 2008.

Brought to you by the Gallifreyan Embassy and presented by Outpost Gallifrey.

Do you need the MP3 file format? Get our MP3 version of this episode using our MP3 dedicated feed at http://www.gallifreyanembassy.org/podshock/podshockmp3.xml.

Doctor Who: Podshock - Episode 106
Running Time: 1:26:25

The Paul McGann Years - A lively discussion on the 8th Doctor's era. Live show with live listener feedback. Hosted by Louis Trapani, Ken Deep, and Dave "AC" Cooper. Recorded on 13 January 2008.

Brought to you by the Gallifreyan Embassy and presented by Outpost Gallifrey.

Do you need the MP3 file format? Get our MP3 version of this episode using our MP3 dedicated feed at http://www.gallifreyanembassy.org/podshock/podshockmp3.xml.

Doctor Who: Podshock Aftershock - 080302
Running Time: 0:20:13

Shane Senter of Jumpcon interviewed. Get a preview of the exciting new series of conventions touring the US. Hosted by Louis Trapani and Ken Deep. Recorded on 2 March 2008.

Brought to you by the Gallifreyan Embassy and presented by Outpost Gallifrey.

Do you need the MP3 file format? Get our MP3 version of this episode using our MP3 dedicated feed at http://www.gallifreyanembassy.org/podshock/podshockmp3.xml.

Doctor Who: Podshock - Episode 105
Running Time: 1:46:15

Voyage of the Damned Reviewed - We review the 2007 Christmas episode in this live show with regular contributors Taras Hnatyshyn, Dave "AC" Cooper, Michael of the Tin-Dog Podcast among others and with live listener feedback. Hosted by Louis Trapani, Ken Deep, and James Naughton. Recorded on 30 December 2007.

Brought to you by the Gallifreyan Embassy and presented by Outpost Gallifrey.

Do you need the MP3 file format? Get our MP3 version of this episode using our MP3 dedicated feed at http://www.gallifreyanembassy.org/podshock/podshockmp3.xml.

Doctor Who: Podshock - Episode 104
Running Time: 1:25:09

The Sylvester McCoy Years - A lively discussion on the 7th Doctor era. Live show with regular contributors Michael of the Tin-Dog Podcast among others and with live listener feedback. Hosted by Louis Trapani, Ken Deep, and Dave "AC" Cooper. Recorded on 16 December 2007.

Brought to you by the Gallifreyan Embassy and presented by Outpost Gallifrey.

Do you need the MP3 file format? Get our MP3 version of this episode using our MP3 dedicated feed at http://www.gallifreyanembassy.org/podshock/podshockmp3.xml.

Doctor Who: Podshock - Episode 103
Running Time: 1:36:26

The Colin Baker Years - A lively discussion on the 6th Doctor era. Live show with regular contributors, Colin Bordley, Joe "Omega", West Hubbard, Michael of the Tin-Dog Podcast, and Dave "AC" Cooper with live listener feedback. Hosted by Louis Trapani and Ken Deep. Recorded on 3 December 2007.

Brought to you by the Gallifreyan Embassy and presented by Outpost Gallifrey.

Do you need the MP3 file format? Get our MP3 version of this episode using our MP3 dedicated feed at http://www.gallifreyanembassy.org/podshock/podshockmp3.xml.

Doctor Who: Podshock - Episode 102
Running Time: 1:01:40

Gallifrey 2008 Pre-Show Podcast - A preview of what to expect at Gallifrey One's Nineteenth Symphony: Opus 2008 on Feb 15-17 in LA. Hosted by Louis Trapani, James Naughton, Mike Doran, and Ken Deep. Recorded on 03 February 2008.

Brought to you by the Gallifreyan Embassy and presented by Outpost Gallifrey.

Do you need the MP3 file format? Get our MP3 version of this episode using our MP3 dedicated feed at http://www.gallifreyanembassy.org/podshock/podshockmp3.xml.

Doctor Who: Podshock - Episode 101
Running Time: 1:18:51

The Peter Davison Years - A lively discussion on the 5th Doctor era including the recent "Time Crash" mini-episode. Live show with regular contributors, West Hubbard and Dave "AC" Cooper with live listener feedback. Hosted by Louis Trapani and Ken Deep. Recorded on 18 November 2007.

Brought to you by the Gallifreyan Embassy and presented by Outpost Gallifrey.

Do you need the MP3 file format? Get our MP3 version of this episode using our MP3 dedicated feed at http://www.gallifreyanembassy.org/podshock/podshockmp3.xml.

Doctor Who: Podshock - Episode 100 (Part 2 of 2)
For the Week of the 26th of November 2007.
Running Time: 1:27:51

Our 100th Episode! Interviews with Wendy Padbury (Zoe on Doctor Who), Marc Schuster & Tom Powers authors of The Greatest Show in the Galaxy - The Discerning Fan's Guide to Doctor Who, and musician Geoff Smith. With on-the-road segments, 100th episode shout-outs, promos, and more. Hosted by Louis Trapani, Ken Deep, and James Naughton, with Mike Doran.

Brought to you by the Gallifreyan Embassy and presented by Outpost Gallifrey.

Do you need the MP3 file format? Get our MP3 version of this episode using our MP3 dedicated feed at http://www.gallifreyanembassy.org/podshock/podshockmp3.xml.

Doctor Who: Podshock - Episode 100 (Part 1 of 2)
For the Week of the 26th of November 2007.
Running Time: 1:16:18

Our 100th Episode! Interviews with Wendy Padbury (Zoe on Doctor Who), Marc Schuster & Tom Powers authors of The Greatest Show in the Galaxy - The Discerning Fan's Guide to Doctor Who, and musician Geoff Smith. With on-the-road segments, 100th episode shout-outs, promos, and more. Hosted by Louis Trapani, Ken Deep, and James Naughton, with Mike Doran.

Brought to you by the Gallifreyan Embassy and presented by Outpost Gallifrey.

Do you need the MP3 file format? Get our MP3 version of this episode using our MP3 dedicated feed at http://www.gallifreyanembassy.org/podshock/podshockmp3.xml.

Doctor Who: Podshock - Episode 99
For the Week of the 22nd of October 2007.
Running Time: 1:32:18

The Tom Baker Years - A lively discussion on the 4th Doctor era. Live show with regular contributors, West Hubbard, Mike "Merlin" and Dave "AC" Cooper with live listener feedback. Hosted by Louis Trapani and Ken Deep. Recorded on October 21, 2007.

Brought to you by the Gallifreyan Embassy and presented by Outpost Gallifrey.

Do you need the MP3 file format? Get our MP3 version of this episode using our MP3 dedicated feed at http://www.gallifreyanembassy.org/podshock/podshockmp3.xml.

Doctor Who: Podshock - Episode 98
For the Week of the 9th of October 2007.
Running Time: 1:38:36

The Jon Pertwee Years. Live show with regular contributors, Joe "Omega", Micheal of the Tin Dog Podcast and Dave Cooper with live listener feedback. Hosted by Louis Trapani and Ken Deep. Recorded on October 8, 2007.

Brought to you by the Gallifreyan Embassy and presented by Outpost Gallifrey.

Do you need the MP3 file format? Get our MP3 version of this episode using our MP3 dedicated feed at http://www.gallifreyanembassy.org/podshock/podshockmp3.xml.

Doctor Who: Podshock - Episode 97
For the Week of the 24th of September 2007.
Running Time: 1:09:08

The Patrick Troughton Years. Live show with regular contributors, Joe "Omega" and Dave Cooper with live listener feedback. Hosted by Louis Trapani and Ken Deep. Recorded on September 23, 2007.

Brought to you by the Gallifreyan Embassy and presented by Outpost Gallifrey.

Do you need the MP3 file format? Get our MP3 version of this episode using our MP3 dedicated feed at http://www.gallifreyanembassy.org/podshock/podshockmp3.xml.

Matthew Sweet offers a pleasingly Who aware piece in The Independent about the influences Hamlet may have had on the series:

"Dr Wiggins is equally crushing when I pitch him my theory that "The Invasion of Time" (1978) – in which the Doctor feigns madness to prevent his home planet falling to a race of aliens with thick Ulster accents – is another version of Shakespeare's story. If you must go truffling for Hamlet in pre-2005 Doctor Who, he suggests, better to try "The Masque of Mandragora" (1976), in which a fizzing alien entity arrives in Italy to stop the Renaissance from happening. It has an inexperienced, intellectual prince, a usurping duke, and a debate about the conflict between science and religion that recalls Hamlet's musings on the nature of the supernatural world."

Plus there was the original series bible for the 1996 revival in which Borusa was revealed to be the Doctor's father or something.

Time and Relative Dissertations in Space: Critical Perspectives on Doctor Who
Edited by David Butler

This book is amazing.

Before going some way to explaining that hyperbole, I should first admit my vested interests.  The editor, Dr. Butler, a lecturer in Screen Studies at Manchester University, was the man who taught me everything I know about Propp, Said, Tarkovsky and Kurosawa, marked my dissertation and is a good friend (which makes it of course horrifying that I haven’t been in touch lately).  He’s been in the news lately because he’s in aiding the project of cataloging the contents of Delia Derbyshire’s attic.  He spoke about pulling this volume together whilst I was there and I’m listed in the acknowledgments as well as, I think, being a statistic in his own fabulous essay about audience reactions to An Unearthly Child and the TV Movie.  Do not, then, expect the most balanced of reviews.

But really, this book is amazing.

There’s been a flurry of activity in the academic community and beyond in the wake of the new series, with countless volumes attempting to apply complex critical theory to the franchise building on the early work of Tulloch and Alvarado in The Unfolding Text, the first attempt at looking at the series from an academic point of view.  Many of them are quoted in here, but from what I’ve seen, with the exception of Kim Newman’s BFI edition, they’re sometimes so fixated on trying to treat the programme as a serious text, they commit the habitual academic crime of deconstructing the target into a series of ‘signs’ and forgetting exactly what it is that drew them to write about it in the first place.  Doctor Who above all else is a fun, diverting sci-fi adventure serial, sometimes for all the family or as Dale Smith’s essay about the Virgin New Adventures notes, sometimes not and it’s ok to acknowledge that whilst trying to roll it through the academic rigger.

This book of David and his colleagues treads that fine line superbly.  As the brilliant title itself symbolically suggests each of the writers betrays a fannish knowledge of the programme, but at the same time when required (and importantly only when required) pull in relevant academic standards as way of illuminating the show and its place within the cultural mythology.  There are varying degrees of discourse; essays such as David Rafer’s investigation into the mythic identity in Doctor Who mention everyone from Laura Mulvey to Jean Baudrillard and are like revisiting my university course in small doses in relation to my favourite television programme.  Alan McKee’s fun demonstration of why City of Death is obviously the best Doctor Who story relies more heavily on the programme itself.

Also, unlike certain other academic tomes there’s never a sense of padding, of letting in material to make up the page length and justify the price.  There are four sections, mirroring the classic structure of a Doctor Who story.  The first looks at the origins of the series, the second how the stories are told -- narrative structure and their mythic and allegorical qualities, the third notes how the production facilities effected what appeared on screen with special emphasis on music and the final part is perhaps the most fan orientated, looking at questions of canonicity, who actually created the series and our appreciation of spin-off media.  There also a rather lovely afterword by Paul Magrs on why he loves the series that is as touching, nostalgic and batty as you’d expect. 

It’s difficult to select highlights since there’s narry a disappointment, but if you’re wondering through a university library and they’ve only got a single copy on three hour short loan, I’d go directly to the aforementioned piece on audience reaction which wittily runs through the TV movie's exposition failures with some wonderful quotes from fellow students who’ve never seen the programme before and note that for all the crackle and pop of the American cutaway, it’s the first episode and its inherent sense of mystery which is the most compelling.  Then I’d skip to the back and find Lance Parkin’s exploration of canonicity which succinctly underscores the reason I love the franchise, that there’s no definitive version and no Lucasfilm style department telling me that the story can’t begin on Barnes Common because that’s not what we saw on screen (something which the Eighth Doctor Adventures turned into a plot point).

From there, bounce forwards through the pagination vortex to Tat Wood’s barmy attempt to work out who represents the viewer’s point of view in the series, making comparisons with everything from wildlife documentaries to film musicals.  Then there’s Ian Potter demonstrating that by the close of the series, despite the best efforts of Andrew Cartmell and others, the production was still following the antiquated grammar of the sixties even though the rest of television had moved on around it and Matt Hills taking that a stage further to show that Big Finish were largely tweaking that grammar for audio and presenting the fan listener with a product which captures the magical essence of what they remember the show to be like in their memory rather than what’s being revealed on dvd.  By then, your three hours should be up, but its worth risking the exorbitant fines to take in Magrs’s afterword if only to discover where his novel The Scarlet Empress sprouted from.

By then though, you’ll probably have decided to buy a copy and you’d be right to, because these are pages to be savoured.  It’s weighty yet accessible, it’s intelligent and sardonic.  In recent months, the essays about the contributions of John Nathan Turner and Robert Holmes have become even more relevant since both underscore that the show is not and never can be the vision of a single man, though until Moffat takes over we’ll not find out how much of the essence of the new iteration is due to the producer or the needs of production.  It’s not afraid to spend ten or so pages explaining what’s so good about City of Death or why Paul Cornell’s contribution to the recent version of the franchise is all too easily overlooked.  There’s a compelling sense of getting away with something – challenging received authority – rather like the Doctor himself. 

Like I said, Amazing.

Time and Relative Dissertations in Space: Critical Perspectives on Doctor Who edited by David Butler
ISBN: 978-0719076824
RRP: £15.99
Release date: Out Now!

Pass the jazz salt...

Tachyon TV presents their latest DVD commentary podcast. This week it's Black Orchid Part 1.

Topics up for discussion include: missing aliens, Sting, 1920s sex games, Nyssa's piercing, and the five hour novelisation reading by Michael Cochrane.

Listen to it via the Behind the Sofa jukebox or download it from Tachyon TV.

Inspired by our recent experiences at Bad Wolf '08, Tachyon TV have decided to stage its own convention in early April at Solihull's Ice Rink.

Osterhagen-on-Ice is not only the first Doctor Who convention to be held entirely on ice since 1983, it also boasts some impressive guests who will be making their very first UK convention appearances. These include: Courtney Pine, Harold Pinter and Bella Emberg.

Book early to avoid disappointment. Full details here.

It's Chariots of Fur...

Tachyon TV presents their latest DVD commentary podcast. This week it's Survival Part 3.

Topics up for discussion include: Anthony Ainley's teeth acting, premenstrual tension, Peter Frampton, West Side Story, and the Boxer Beat.

Listen to it via the Behind the Sofa jukebox or download it from Tachyon TV.

So the franchise continues.  There was a teaser trailer for The Sarah Jane Adventures during the finale rerun tonight:

Along with a role in Last of the Summer Wine, this constitutes a Russ Abbot renaissance.

Christmas.  I hate Christmas.  The compulsory gift-giving, the monthlong frenzy of crass commercialism and godawful pervasive music, the tacky decorations, the senseless treeslaughter, the theological indoctrination, the eggnog-clouded family get-togethers, the unholy bastard spawn of religion and capitalism, more annoying even than each separately.  Some people like Christmas.  They like the hassle of the shopping, think gaudy decorations are wonderful, revel in the ceaseless torment of christmas carols, look forward eagerly to the inevitable disappointment of annual stunt-casted Chrit'mas specials on the telly, and after it all careens to a disastrous end, they set their sights on the next nationalistic and/or religious ceremony with unabated glee.   I think the world can roughly be split between people who don't like Christmas and those who do (and the billion or so people who live somewhere it isn't a particularly big deal), and with the exception of those who’ve a decent reason (prepubescence, medication), I don’t think I’ve ever gotten along with people who like Christmas.

Well, I, for one, was hoping for more.

Which is the only way I can really understand the reaction to Journey’s End, which has polarised fandom more than any episode this series.  Between the shallow spectacle and the shiny baubles and the anaemic paeans to the "true believers", many fans in their religious fervour feel that it is blasphemy to look over this tinsel-strewn wasteland and fail to be converted.  (My reaction to this is pictured on the right.)

Well, I, for one, was hoping for more.

Doctor Who: Journey's End

Not expecting it, mind you, just hoping for it.  I ended my last review with a cliffhanger, when I threatened to reveal what I thought of the cliffhanger.  Partly this is because I thought it a wee bit clever; partly it's because I was too damn tired to bother trying to hammer out those extra few paragraphs; partly because time was running short; but mainly it's because I didn't want to heap praise on The Stolen Earth's spectacular cliffhanger when I felt pretty sure the resolution would fail to live up to my exacting standards, and, indeed, any standards at all.

Well, Russell T. Davies, you didn't disappoint me...and so I was disappointed.  Predictably, Journey's End kicks off with startlingly poor resolutions to all three of last week's cliffhangers.  Whether it's the magical hand of convenience, Jackie and Mickey's far-too-convenient materialization, or the method of conveniently writing Gwen and Ianto out of the rest of the episode, each seems like a disappointing cop-out.  The density of dei ex machina in the first two minutes alone is almost enough to cause the entire episode to collapse into a black hole of arbitrary plotting.  Mind you, RTD had sort of written himself into a corner here.  There was no convenient Chekhov's gun lying around from earlier narratives to resolve any of the predicaments.  I'd rather hoped there was something I missed and I'd be in awe of the clever escape; instead RTD just pulled rabbits out of his arse in some sort of perverse magical theatre.

Viva la Resolucion!:

The crap resolutions went well beyond the first two minutes, unfortunately.  Davies has been dropping leaden hints on us all season, from Donna's hearing of heartbeats to Dalek Caan squealing and giggling about the death of the Doctor's "most faithful companion", and all seemed to land with a dull thud.  In fact, the only resolutions that weren't crap were those many things that weren't resolved at all.

The least satisfying non-resolutions of the episode, and Davies' grossest derelictions of his duties as a scriptwriter, all converged on Donna.  After weeks of playing up her importance ("the most important woman in the universe!") and dropping bollocks like "the pattern's not complete.  The strands are still drawing together.  But heading for what?" and every species in the universe predicting great things for her, we were a bit stirred up.  Fans and casual viewers alike have been whipped into a frenzy, ropey strands of saliva falling from the corners of our mouths as we hurl our theories about who Donna might be and why all timelines seem to be leading to her, like so many monkeys hurling their feces at each other.

...all it requires is half-a-dozen incontinent macaques with a Speak-and-Spell...

Well, I'm sad to say, the ideas we've all been flinging about are infinitely better than the steaming pile of exposition RTD actually serves up for our consumption.  The Doctor's heartbeat "rippled back, converging on" Donna because the Doctor's "complicated" and Donna's "special".  A Dalek faerie has been manipulating the timelines...but the result was inevitable anyway?  Why?  Because Donna was "so unique."?  That's all you could come up with, you incompetent bastard?  Some sort of Donna-specific version of the already questionable Anthropic Principle?  It's some sort of Destiny?  Donna's the Chosen One?  Bah.  It's like that old adage about the infinite number of monkeys with the infinite number of typewriters...except that all it requires is half-a-dozen incontinent macaques with a Speak-and-Spell to best this pathetic cop-out.

The Naked Time(lord):

Since all of the universe seemed to be working together to foreshadow Donna's greatness, it was the least Davies could do to come up with a sufficiently over-the-top threat and implausible conclusion.  Not content with merely taking over the entire universe, Davros and his friends have designed a machine that will obliterate anything and everything in all possible universes, and it's apparently fueled and propagated by 27 planets in careful balance.

The Supreme Dalek sets the mechanism for his own destruction in motion through the use of a cartoonish trap-door in the floor of the crucible, dropping Donna and the TARDIS through a long amusement-park ride into a furnace.  While the TARDIS is bobbing up and down in a pool of zed-neutrinos (think of it as Doctor Who's own "trash compactor" scene), Murray Gold appears to Donna and tempts her into touching the pickled meat, setting up the episode's most important deus ex machina: the Biological Metacrisis.  More of a Logical Metacrisis, the Doctor's hand is, understandably, aroused by Catherine Tate's touch, and grows into what I will heretofore refer to as "the Naked Doctor", and apparently the two of them have tainted each other in the process.

...understandably, aroused by Catherine Tate's touch...

The scenes of the Naked Doctor and Donna aping each other in the TARDIS are actually among the most enjoyable of the episode, and, of course, this entire contrivance eventually sets us up the Surreality Bomb that solves all of the universe's problems.  Fortunately for the universe, Clever Donna possessed that magical human X-factor, lever-pressing-skills and the ability to shout scientificky-sounding things, allowing her to tits-up the Dalek plan in a matter of seconds, and right on time.  (David Tennant yelling at the Dalek Empire to "cut it out!  Just, please, stop it!" seemed to be meeting with limited success.)  The final defeat of the Daleks' plan largely consisted of the Doctor, the Doctor-Donna, and the Naked Doctor spouting endless nonsense and flicking switches and turning knobs.  The convenient Dalek-control-panel might have qualified as a Checkhov's gun, except that it was only revealed when needed, making it essentially a machina ex machina.  The level of teachno-babble was ratcheted up so high in Journey's End my ears hurt, but without it the writer might have actually had to, in the words of the Supreme Dalek, "Explain!  Explain!  Explain!"

Orgy of Caanibalism:

What a bunch of rubbish were the Cult of Skaro, eh?  Some elite force of Dalek superheroes they turned out to be.  First we have Dalek Sec engaging in bestiality with the lower life forms, and now Dalek Caan brings back the entire bloody species from oblivion, just so he can sell them out.  And for what?  Shits and giggles, apparently.  Mostly giggles.  And a squeal or two.  And rubbing his tentacles together maliciously, like a pantomime villain.

The other modern Daleks may still have compulsory-exposition problems (why is it that Daleks can't seem to do anything without saying it out loud! "Commence Disposal!  Incinerate!"), but at least I know where they're coming from.  Why have you forsaken me, Dalek Caan?

I sort of enjoyed his mad rantings in The Stolen Earth, but when it's revealed that he's not only already seen Journey's End (the poor bastard!), but apparently he script-edited it as well (the bastard!), I lost my enthusiasm.  One part carny fortune teller ("reading is free for red hair!") and two parts mad puppet-master, his theoretical string-pulling and, apparently, unlimited power, just seemed another way to dance around actual plotting in favour of magical, unexplainey contrivance.

The Impossible Planet:

Perhaps the nadir of the episode, in terms of just plain embarrassing, nausea-inducing awfulness, was the lengthy bit when the Doctor and his little team help a wayward planet find its way home.  They literally tow it, for fuck's sake.  Maybe this is just intended to give Torchwood and Luke Smith something to do after being grounded for the rest of the episode, or it's an excuse to pull K-9 out of the closet for a few more seconds to hump Mr. Smith's leg.  Either way, it hurt just watching it.

To add insult to injury, the entire sequence is accompanied by some of the more abominable music Murray Gold has coughed up since 2005.  It seems to combine the worst elements of  both "Deutschland, Deutschland über Alles" and "Up with People".  As they drop the hurtling Earth offhandedly back into its groove, everyone claps and hugs,  The Earthlings all cheer and flail about and jump around like idiots, celebrating despite untold millions dead from the Dalek invasion.  Governments the world over set off their strategic fireworks stockpiles.  The ridiculous upbeatness is the same miserable excess I cited in my review for The Poison Sky, as "obnoxiously, hollowly uplifting," and it fares no better here.

Revelation of the Bollocks:

Another fine example of Davies dropping the spanner was the whole let-down of the Doctor's terrible secret.  While most of the interminably talky episode consisted of tedious exposition, the scene where Davros gathers all of the Doctor's companions into some sort of shouty group therapy session falls far short of its goal.  After a lengthy buildup about, to quote a tentacled muppet, "revealing the Doctor's soul", Davros's grand scheme apparently involves Daleks on parade in some sort of synchronized-swimming display and some sort of self-help based psychoanalysis of the Doctor.

The worst part of this is that the Doctor seemed to actually be bothered by it.  When Davros is gleefully thrashing about screaming, "The man who abhors violence, never carrying a gun...but this is the truth, Doctor.  You take ordinary people and you fashion them into weapons.  Behold your children of time, transformed into murderers.  I made the Daleks, Doctor, you made this.", an appropriate response might have been "You've got to be fucking kidding me."  I would have to assume that Davros was just taking the piss with lines like "This is my final victory, Doctor...I have shown you...yourself!", but instead David Tennant gets all misty-eyed and has a series of flashbacks to mostly-RTD-scripted episodes from the last three or four years set to maudlin music.

...the reddest of herrings, gaping plot wounds, implausible contrivances and poor science.

The whole suggestion that Davros was going to reveal something deep and interesting about the Doctor was just another false promise in a script rife with the reddest of herrings, gaping plot wounds, implausible contrivances and poor science.  What's with the Doctor and Davros misusing the term "wavelength"?  These guys are supposed to be smart.  Much as everyone feared, the stars all going out at once, with no consideration for the time it takes light to travel anywhere, was the "I wouldn't know science if it bit me in the arse" error it first appeared to be.  What was the point of rounding up guinea pigs to test the reality bomb on, except as a contrivance to get Jackie, Mickey and Sarah Jane up to the crucible?  What was Jackie shooting at in the sky when she first beamed over from the parallel universe?  Oh...and in space, no one can hear you drop a spanner.

The Pretention Cannon:

It's almost a given now that Martha continues her unbearable-streak she's been on since at least The Last of the Time Lords.  As usual, she's hobbled by most of the episodes most atrociously hamfisted dialogue ("Yeah, but I've got a higher authority, way above UNIT.  And there's one more thing the Doctor would do."), but Freema Agyeman's affected line-reading doesn't improve matters.  I think she may have borrowed Rose's new teeth for the duration of the Crisis on Impotent Earth.  It's as if she's settled on portraying the character as a grim, serious, emotionally-disabled automaton, which may have some narrative justification, but sucks away all of the fun and appeal that the character used to have.

She may convince us she's the kind of self-important git who would set off the Doomsday device, but she can't seem to convince us to give a damn.

Not much else about the episode works in her favour either.  Entire scenes delivered in German almost as poorly pronounced as her English; Harper's unusual depth-of-field games when she repels her mother with her outflung fingers; a costume that consists of a parachute complete with ripcord; shouting "noooooooooooo...!" as the Daleks defuse her insignificant threat with their transmat.

She may convince us she's the kind of self-important git who would set off the Doomsday device, but she can't seem to convince us to give a damn.  She'll fit in perfectly on Torchwood; let's hope they don't feel the need to bring her back to Doctor Who any time soon.

Sloppy Seconds:

Speaking of returning guest-stars, Rose's is one casket Davies should never have re-opened.  Rose's "arc" ended (excellently) two seasons ago, and Rose getting her pet doctor in Journey's End (Frank beat me to the wording, but, really, no other words will do) pisses all over the far more satisfactory Doomsday.

The argument that the Naked Doctor needs Rose Tyler to heal him, or even that eliminating the Daleks makes him need healing at all, remains thoroughly unconvincing, and the treacley mess on the beach just comes across as an excuse to throw the Rose/Doctor shippers a stale bone.  If a "human-timelord biological metacrisis" can't survive, I was, of course, left wondering if the Doctor just left Rose cavorting with an impending corpse,  instead of just a genocidal mockup of himself and the best temp in Chiswick.  Even if he doesn't drop dead within hours, Rose isn't likely to be satisfied with the short end of the stick.  After travelling the universe with the Doctor, she's isn't likely to be any more satisfied settling down with the Naked Doctor who works in a chip shop than Donna would be with being mind-raped and stranded back on Earth.

The Biggest Backfire in History:

Journey's End had a few redeeming features...there was the...um...no...wait...I'll think of it...ooh, I've got it!  Bernard Cribbins didn't suck.  Then again, he really never sucked, now did he?  Well, how about the faux-German Daleks?  They were entertaining.  And, of course, there was Donna.

The final insult of Journey's End was Donna's terrible fate.  Catherine Tate has been, easily, the best thing to happen to Doctor Who since at least sometime in the seventies.  Donna was supposed to travel with the Doctor forever, more or less.  She certainly deserved better than she got.

...like a schoolboy pulling the wings off of a butterfly...

The Doctor leaving Donna as an amnesiac ticking time-bomb is not a satisfying conclusion to her plot arc.  Sure, it was emotionally devastating and all, and Tate's unparalleled acting sells the horror of it far more than anyone else could have.  An actual death would have been a far more dignified coda for Donna (and would have actually lived up to Caan's prophecy of a companion death, unlike the annoying bait-and-switch Davies keeps pulling).  In one fell swoop, like a schoolboy pulling the wings off of a butterfly, Davies has reduced Donna to the shallow caricature we all met with some trepidation in The Runaway Bride.

Donna's mantra about being "just a temp" led to a great deal of speculation among the fans ("...temp...tempus...time.  She must be a time lord!").  That, of course, all turned out to be much ado about nothing, as the only thing that made her special was her accidental cross pollination with the Doctor.  The end result of her character arc was to have no arc at all; she was just a placeholder.  It's like the world's worst reset-button.  You see, for Davies, Donna was just a temp all along.

Well it had to be said that interesting panels have been a bit thin on the ground since John Leeson, so we've only been tempted into the final panel of the day by the prospect of PC Andy aka Tom Price possibly causing mayhem with Kai Owen.  But I'm not expecting miracles.

On the whole this convention has been fun, but the first day was better than the second, and as well as slightly lacklustre panels the attendance seems to have been a bit down (possibly) on previous events.  I hope this isn't a sign of a continuing trend.  But well done to the organisers for putting on the show.

Anyway onwards to Andy and Rhys.  They are introduced by a montage of Doctor Who credits which seems odd since they are in Torchwood.  Still, as Damon points out, Rhys was on the other end of the phone in The Stolen Earth so I suppose it counts.

Kai comes on and introduces Tom Price.  It's a Q&A, which I can't possibly keep up with. 

In summary, this was a great knockaround session and Kai and Tom did a wonderful job in keeping the crowd going at the end of a long day.  An excellent end to a patchy weekend.

And that's it.  We may well be blogging again at Dimensions in November, but as I'll be back on the drink by then the results may be even less coherent than this.

Bye, bye.

I'm a bit late for the John Leeson panel so here we go.

They are talking about the K-9 cartoon, and John drops the unlikely information that at one point Tom Baker was going to do the voice of K-9.  Can this be true?

John Dorney our host then asks John how he feels to be so hidden as an actor.  And John replies that he's quite happy hiding.  Ever since rep after drama school, John was always cast as old men and so got used to being covered in makeup, fake beards and generally being hidden away.  He has never been recognised in the street as K-9, mainly as John says because he isn't showing any signs of rust. 

John discusses The Invisible Enema (sic) and how he got the role.  A man knew that John used to be Bungle the Bear in Rainbow, and recommended him for the role.  He was offered two parts, as Neil says "a dog and a prawn".  John was concerned that the role of a virus might be a small part.

He mentions Billion Dollar Brain (Ken Russell) which featured a computer.  John admits he has a talent for creating the voice of a tin dog.  He also makes passing reference to the fact he's been a bit ill recently, so I'm sure we all wish him well in the future.  In John's day monsters were real rather than CGI, and he sounds like he regrets that a bit.  John Dorney agrees that he thinks real effects are more impressive and makes the good point that people like K-9 because he is a big, physical object.

For his recent appearance in Doctor Who, John only needed about 30 minutes in a sound studio, and this is contrasted with the old days where he would scurry around in rehearsals and be on set for all the recordings.

John Dorney moves on to John's actual appearance as Dugeen in The Power of Kroll.  John says it was nice to look an actor in the eye rather than the knee. He was also in Blake's 7 (Mission to Destiny and Gambit).  This results in the host spoiling the end of an episode.  If you can spoil a programme shown in 1978.

John Leeson tell the story about Troughton not working in the theatre because he doesn't like "shouting at night".

Question 1:  "Which Blake's 7 episode do you most prefer?" "Gambit"n  The phrase the "trampoline of attention" is used which is the first time I've heard that phrase.

We move onto Dad's Army (which John was in) and his later work with British Forces Broadcasting on the border of East and West Germany.  The German operatives were horrified at people laughing at the old men, but they loved the big boots in Jeux Sans Frontieres.

Question 2:  "How did K-9 feel about playing chess?" John tried his best with this question.  John Dorney sensibly brings up crosswords which John says were used as a good method of keeping Tom Baker out of trouble.  The Stones of Blood anecdote is told to rousing applause which was nice.

Question 3: "What are your memories of David Brierley?" John expresses his sadness at David's recent death, and tells of their first meeting at a poetry recital. Once at a convention they decided to concoct a fake rivalry, much to their amusement.

Question 4:  "What was it like doing the scene in the furnace in The Armageddon Factor?" John tries his best with this bizarre question.  At least it elicits John's backward spool K-9 noise which makes Damon shudder.

Question 5:  "How long have you been doing K-9's voice?" "More than three weeks ago."

Question 6:  "What's the daftest thing you've been called upon in your career/Doctor Who?"  A commercial for a furniture show in Earls Court.  He played a castaway on a raft with a dolly bird.  It was shot in November off Southend.  He was dosed with brandy.  He also found it hard to give autographs when dressed as Bungle Bear, especially when he had to sign a child's sticking plaster.

Question 7:  "How do you compare the differences between the different Marks of K-9?" John sensibly has the same sort of answer as the Tachyon TV team - "there is no difference they're the fucking same!!!"

Question 8:  "What was it like working with the Chuckle Brothers?" John is ambivalent about being asked this question.  "Very interesting"  The script was "approximate".  You had to be adaptable.  But they were lovely chaps  "it wasn't Radio 3" - The line of the day.

Question 9:  "Were you surprised that they did a spin-off and were you upset that it didn't continue?"  John wasn't expecting the spin-off.

The Tachyon team were fatally distracted from the rest of the panel by the sight of one fan in front of us whose arse is out and hanging over the back of the chair.  Sorry about that.

Question 10: "Tell us about your involvement with the K-9 theme tune?"  John was hauled to a recording studio and asked to repeat "K-9, K-9, etc...."

A nice panel from a lovely John Leeson, and John Dorney is the best interviewer of the weekend so far so well done to him.

Question 5

Good morning everyone.  Steady as we go - it's Colin Baker.

Colin chats about Big Finish work, and makes passing reference to the JumpCon problems.  He also mentions that Maria's dad in The Sarah Jane Adventures is brilliant in Hamlet at the moment alongside Louise Jameson as Gertrude.  Oddly he then decides to make an anagram out of Charlie's name.  It's like watching an episode of Crosswits. 

We turn to The Trial of a Time Lord boxset which is due out in August.  Colin was intrigued by watching the show again, as "contrary to opinion I don't sit at home every week watching my old stories."  Interestingly Colin first met Graeme Harper on the set of War and Peace in 1970.  He's then asked his opinion on the final two stories of the recent series, and Colin then sympathises with Steven Moffat for having to take over after RTD threw in the kitchen sink.  Colin cannot understand why they didn't cast Terry Malloy as Davros, but he loved The Silence in the Library. 

We get on to more controversial territory with ToaTL, but this potentially interesting area is lost when Charlie brings up the costume.  Colin wanted black, but JN-T differed.  Oddly Colin blames this on the 1980s as this was "an era of glam rock".  He then talks glowingly of audio drama as opposed to television and film.  He did a lot of Radio 4 drama work in the 1970s, and goes on to praise Peter Brooks' Shakespeare productions. 

As a side note, Colin is wearing bright red crocs - maybe you can't take the man completely out of the costume after all.  Charlie posits that Colin was the best thing about the show at the time and it was everything else that let him down.   It's an arguable point.

Colin praises JN-T, and then goes on to discuss whether RTD would be wise to attend conventions as you need a thick skin.  Charlie moves on to Colin's experience working with Patrick Troughton.  Colin was David Troughton's best man.  Colin had cross words only once with JN-T and that was when they were left out in the sun for too long.  The Sontaran glue didn't work because the actors were gushing with sweat. 

Q&A

Question 1:  "Nicole Bryant is my favourite companion.  Is she yours?"  Colin says no, and that he much prefered Frobisher.  Not really.  He says he loved working with her.  It doesn't get much more controversial than that.

He tells the old story about Peter Davison winding her up about him.

Things look decidedly ropey for a while when Charlie asked Colin "What's the most annoyed you've ever been at a convention?"  Time seems to slow down as a re-run of Col-gate looks not just likely but inevitable.  Fortunately, Colin not being paid once is ranked higher than the Tachyon TV escapade.

Question 2:  "Which monster would you rather face from any era of Doctor Who?"  Not sure.  We suggest the Midnight monster, and Colin praises the episode.  He suggests the Celestial Toymaker, but also thinks that the Davros of the "I, Davros" episodes is fantastic.

Question 3:  "How would the Doctor respond to the Railyard (Valyard)?" Not unreasonably Colin replies that he would react exactly how he did react in the episode.

Question 4:  "Who's your favourite Doctor?" (from a small child who likes him).  He agrees with her graciously.

Charlie ends oddly by saying that Colin will always be in their top three.

Back at some point.  The panels are a bit thin today.